Note: Today’s post is a guest contribution from Lauren Rains.
“I’m unhappy, Lauren. Really…that’s just who I am right now. ”
This is what my best, oldest, most important friend has been saying to me for awhile now…
I could sit there and tell her and tell you that I feel for her, that I feel helpless to make her see that she can be happy, and simply say, “It’ll be okay”.
But I’ve never really been too good at sitting. And I’ve never really been too good at letting my friends just sit when they need to be standing because they’re damn capable of of it and they deserve it.
So, I decided to come up with 3 ways to stop residing in a seated position in a boring room of unhappiness, and to start standing tall and running fast towards a life that’s so ridiculously filled with happiness that ever day you’ll go to sleep and think, “Damn… I’m living this right …I’m happy.”
1.) GIVE GIVE GIVE YOUR LOVE
Here’s the deal: It is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to be happy if you are not giving your happiness, love, and positivity to the people around you. Furthermore, this life we’re living is NOT JUST ABOUT YOU AND I. It’s about the our neighbors, it’s about our friends and family, it’s about strangers that live on the other side of the world, it’s about the people that make up our communities. They are all part of our bigger purpose and reason for being here.
Whether you have all the love to give in the world or you feel like you barely have enough for yourself, never stop giving more love. We simply can’t be authentically happy if we aren’t giving. And if one is unhappy, the fastest way to change that is to remember that it’s not about you!!! Give your love, even if you feel like you’ve got none left …because you do, and you have way more than you could ever imagine.
2.) STOP BEING A LITTLE … BIT … SCAREDY CAT
Ralph Waldo Emerson once told us, “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.”
Get into trouble, dammit! Screw up. Get Dirty. Make a mess of yourself. Be Crazy. Be Irrational. Me Wild! Be Mad!!!! I can’t say this enough!!
Emerson was onto something here and everyone knows that when you quote him in a blog post you must be right . 😉
And let me tell you this… the first time you take a little leap that can get your knees dirty should you land wrong, it’s going to be scary. You’re not going to like it at first. In fact, you’ll probably try to turn back. You’ll probably come up with a reason as to why it’s not such a good idea, and you’ll probably be right.
Don’t listen. Just do it, okay.
And after that, it gets easier. You start to like it because now you know that after you jump, most of the time you land on your feet. And if you do land on your knees, you start to like it because now you know that it makes a hell of a good story and it’s not hard to stand up after you fall anyway.
It was this crazy mentality that took my scared-as-hell self to live in Beijing, China for a full year. It was this live-mad outlook that pushed me to organize the Mad To Live 50 Mile World Changer walk. It was this “don’t be a b*tch” self-talk that got me to jump out of a freaking airpline so I could see the Philly skyline from the clouds!!
It’s worth it to be a little crazy! Trust me! 🙂
3.) LET YOURSELF BE HAPPY
Believe it or not, a lot of people are unhappy because they don’t let themselves feel otherwise. And I’m going to be honest with you …I’ve definitely been there before. And then I realized that I was being an idiot, and I was saying “No” to every opportunity I had to make myself happy because somehow I’d found comfort in the certainty of my unhappiness.
How dumb does that sound?
The thing is… you, me, the jerk that’s always complaining, the volunteer doing all she can, the next person you see today… we all deserve to be happy. Most of us are just so damn hard on ourselves that we don’t let ourselves.
Give yourself some credit. You deserve it. You really do.
HAPPY
😀 Be happy. The choice is yours… and yours alone. 😀
—————
Lauren Rains is a world-traveling, Spanish-speaking, web-designing chick who is on a mission to live a life of adventure, substance, and growth. The Mad To Live is her second home where she writes about how to live a wild, crazy, and meaningful life through travel and personal development. She lives to explore the unknown, be inspired every day, and to sit outside on warm nights with good friends sharing stories and laughs over caipirinhas. She likes to do the same on Twitter at @LaurRains. (photo credit)
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I literally have chills reading this. For the last several days I have had one specific thought running through my head
"if I give you only one gift, it is knowing that you deserve to be happy!"
Why exactly I needed to hear this specific message at this time is a mystery…but the lessons are not lost on me. THIS post is my ' high five' my ' chest bump' my own little 'you go girl'….in other words, this reminds me I am right….and I an grateful to share it!
I wonder if it is a message from above…a little love and support from someone who had passed on… Oh well where ever it came from…glad I got it!
Very cool Dawn. -=)
Hey Dawn!!!
Wow I have got to tell you… HELL YEA GIRL!!!! Funny how sometimes the stars just align when we need them to so we can kick it into gear or figure out what we've been trying to figure out for so long!
So, what are you going to do these days to obtain that happiness you so so so deserve?!?!
Glad you're taking matters into your own hands girl!
Laur 🙂
yeah…it's really good to know that we all deserve to be happy….
I have been a scaredy cat lately…and I have not allowed myself to feel good either….covering all reasonings with guilt and fear…holding onto the low feelings, thinking that's what I deserved…..and look what depths of despair it has take me into…..
but things are changing now…and I am so grateful…
just pray it stays that way and I don't have to visit that dark pit ever again….
Much love Gunja!
Happiness is not a pproblem for me, its the downers that surround me. People love to complain and they to make big deals about little things. And as much as i want to slap them with HAPPY they run from it or complain that I am always too Happy…. Thanks for your blog Jacob… this is one of my happiness routines!!! Always brings me love and true HAPPINESS I can spread. LOVE IT!
Ahhhh Lolo… Hilarious! Honored that Sensophy is part of your happiness ritual and i hope you stick around as we switch things up a bit here. -=)
First off…. "Happiness is a warm gun" Everyone knows that lol…
Secondly, this is an awesome post mad chick… I love that you turned it out from a real experience of helping out your friend. That Emerson post hit close to me. When I am instructing kids in the water, they are usually scared shit of the bigger waves… Then when they actually take a tumble, they pop up out of the water and realize, that it was not so bad after all. Its a nice little mini lesson. In fact, perhaps a blog post in the making.
Hope your having a great trip.
Surfs up,
LOL! Scaring little kids Sal? Really??? COME ON!
Yo Jacob, post number 3 hit me like a ton of bricks. I've buried my self with books of inspiration and motivation I understood the power of gratitude and being thankful, I understood the power of feelings and how they effect our actions and our lives. And of course the power charging up my emotions in a powerful way by connecting to the source of all creation and transmitting the feelings of happiness into areas in my life……..with all that being said I didn't actually practice being happy in the present moment….. up until recently I used to to shut my self down to people and opportunities simply because I didn't allow it. I was my own worst enemy stand proudly in my own way….Wow what energy it takes away from you life, all I can say today is never again, Loved the post my dude.
Dude does that sound familiar! Well written and articulated.
And a great post indeed… Shout out to Lauren for writing it!!
Thanx for stopping by bro!
<3 back atcha!
My pleasure keep up the authentic work… Whose's Lauren alittle confused by Shout out to Lauren for writing it?
Cool dude. And ahhhhh… i write 90+ % of the posts on Sensophy but this post was a guest contribution by Lauren Rains.
I totally agree with #2. While I was in college in 2007, I became enamored with this idea of turning my life into an experiment. It was at this point that began my own personal adventure to awaken possibility in myself. I must admit that I was scared as hell some of the times, but it's because of this relentless desire and decision to not settle for a passionless life that kept me going. Life has become an adventure filled with experiments and discovery. I couldn't have asked for anything more. Thanks for the post!