Yayayayayuh!!
It’s Sunday night and I just got off the phone with a happiness hero of mine. Dude’s name is Tal Ben-Shahar and he taught the most popular class at Harvard of all time. The subject of the class (+ our chat) was……………………………………… HAPPINESS!
How do I feel right now? Exhilarated. Absolutely ALIVE. Passionately buzzing like a “143” beep from a Motorola pager back in 1992.
Ask me how I felt an hour ago. The answer: Quite similar although the passionate buzz was more like a nervous vibrating. But alas…
Nervousness and excitement are two sides of the same coin.
- The nervous side: *negative* expectation of the event’s outcome.
- The excited side: *positive* expectation of the event’s outcome.
The coin just means you REALLY care about the event. BAM.
So when I felt nervous before that chat (as I almost always do before something incredibly exciting), I knew it was a *GREAT* thing – your boy (me) was excited about talking to Tal. In fact, peep the behind the scene goodness here:
But let’s rewind two days for a hot second. In prepping for the interview, I found myself sittin’ comfy in a window seat of a Manchester Starbucks – enjoyably accompanied by an English Breakfast hot tea and a chocolate “chunk” cookie (we say “chip” in the States, ya bloody bastards). Before long, an hour an a half of YouTube watching passed me by – and what did I have to show for it?
4 pages of questions to ask Tal (slimmed down to 3 for the interview)
As I was doing my research, one of the Big Ideas which Tal reemphasized repeatedly was to give yourself the permission to be human. He says that there are two types of people who don’t feel feelings. Boom. Bam. Bang:
- The psychopathic
- The dead
So, yesterday, I shot a short video (in Liverpool UK) talking about that, and this:
- Why we need to allow ourselves to be human
- Why you *DON’T* wanna be happy all of the time
- Why it’s important to feel *ALL* your feelings
- Why there’s a pink elephant stomping thru your life
The interview will be a part of the A Roadmap for Young Adults virtual-conference which will launch in mid-January of 2013. Sign up here to hear this chat (+ another 35):
www.ARoadmapForYoungAdults.com
And if you wanna dig deeper into Tal’s work, I highly (highly, highly) suggest reading Happier. It’s one of my favorite books (of all time!) as Tal takes the latest rigorously tested scientific research on Happiness and makes it SUPER practical and totally applicable for your daily life. [Knuckle-bump, Tal!]
And while you’re waiting for Amazon to ship that, here’s a great video for now. Yes, it’s over an hour long (O-M-G…W-T-F-!), but don’t you think it’s time you invest in YOURSELF?
Drop a comment below and let us know:
How would you feel if you got to interview one of your heroes?
Excited? Nervous? Anxious? Honored?
And would it matter that 1,000’s of people would listen to the chat when you were done? How would you deal with your emotions in the moment? What would you tell yourself? Would you back out?
Can’t wait to hear your point of view, and remember… invest in yourself!
28 Comments
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I looooove the idea of allowing yourself to be human. Major wisdom pearl right there. And aren't all the best pearls just basic common sense at their core? It sounds so obvious – we're all human and we all experience the full range of emotions, from elation to sadness and everything in between. There's nothing shameful about it. But how many of us actually showcase this spectrum in our day-to-day? Looking forward to the interview (and also got this page bookmarked so I can come back to that lecture later tonight 🙂 )
Also, I definitely recognise the location of that second video… Certain I ran along there when I did the marathon in Liverpool last month. Love it.
Yayayuh! Let the fountain of wisdom continue to overflow. 🙂
And let me know your thoughts on the lecture!
PS: Very cool there we're covering the same grounds. Looking fwd to meeting up on Thursday! 🙂
Is that how I sound when I cry? lol. Great stuff today (as always)…I'm inspired and looking forward to watching the last video posted! With gratitude – T
Haha! <3 You rock, T! 🙂
Vey cool and insightful.
Thanks for posting the video. It was an hour well spent.
So thrilled you invested in yourself. And really, how could you not enjoy the video! 🙂
Rock on…
Thanks for the post Jacob – as always, I'm really touched by your words and inspiration. I was doing some work today and feeling super anxious (you know, the tightness in your chest kind) and I did some deep breathing but it just wasn't passing. I distracted myself with an episode of Dexter, but the feeling was still there, until now. It totally loosened up when I stopped trying to ignore it, allowed myself to feel where it was coming from, and let a big sigh out to let it pass. Definitely going to write this one in the success journal 🙂 Thanks!!
p.s. If you really do want to work on your tan, I'm living in the tropics – It's hot as hell!
Hahaha! Thanx for the invite. 🙂
And how cool that you allowed yourself to feel the feeling!
BTW: Chip Conley has some *great* wisdom on anxiety.
He says it comes to two things: *uncertainty* multiplied by *powerlessness*
In other words, 'what you don't know' multiplied by 'what you can't control'.
(We spoke about this in the interview I did with him for A Roadmap for Young Adults.)
So if you want to reduce your anxiety, make a list of:
1) everything you DO know
2) everything you CAN control
3) everything you DON'T know
4) everything you CAN'T control
Then, for #3, start to think of ways which you can find out more information.
And for #4, start to see how you can gain a greater influence over when you can't currently control (and if you can't change it, accept it with peace).
Peep this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v_s1hiI1mA
And keep me posted. Lots of love! 🙂
What a great lecture! Definitely worth the hour!
So says a great gal. 🙂
Feel the fear and do it anyway. Hell yeah Jacob! That's where the biggest breakthroughs come from – moving beyond our comfort zones. Happened to me a couple weeks ago on this gnarly hike I did but I kept on keepin' on and the rewards afterwards were totally worth the initial fear I experienced. If you did it once, you can apply that same method to ANYTHING you do.
Really appreciated your transparency about getting the jitters just before the interview with Tal. Shows you're real and I can relate to that. Keep up the good work and enjoy your travels. Very exciting! P.S. I just copped that book. Tnx for the recommendation.
Right ooooooooon!
Great to hear you're "doing the work" too, and applying these ideas out away from this digital blogosphere in everyday reality.
Can't wait to hear your thoughts and take-aways from Tal's book. Please keep me posted!! 🙂
What a brilliant video! Thanks for posting it on here, not sure I would have come across it otherwise. The concept of giving ourselves permission to be human is a brilliant one. I recently faced a huge fear and took some acting classes using the Meisner Technique. Everything we learnt was about allowing yourself to fully experience all of your emotions so this video really struck a chord with me. We are SO used to putting on a front in society because certain things are expected of us that we very rarely allow ourselves to truly 'feel'. And sometimes we get part of the way there then stop ourselves because we think others will see us as weak if we allow what we're really feeling to come out. I recently quit my job in a big private equity firm in London. Part of what I couldn't stand in that environment any longer was the way you somehow have to suppress your personality to fit in with what they want. If I'm emotional sometimes does that make me bad at my job? I don't think so. It just makes me human. Anyway, brilliant post. Looking forward to reading more of your work on here. Leah
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[…] time. We know it’s important and impulsively attempt to anesthetize ourselves in its absence. Tal-Ben Shahar calls it the *ultimate* […]
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