Are you asking the right questions?

I recently engaged in an interesting experience of trying to figure out what i wanted the outcome of something to be. There were two pivital points in the process of perusing a solution to my situation. The “Oprah aha! moment” was asking myself the following two questions:

  1. Am i asking the right question?
  2. Am i asking the right person?

Here’s how it went down:

As you might imagine, i’ve been busy brainstorming big-boy optimal outcomes to the Jets game i’m going to with Gary Vaynerchuk, this Sunday!! Firstly, the Jets winning would set the stage. But secondly, what will i make of this opportunity as a whole?

Getting to spend some time with a guru genius like Gary is a rare and revered opportunity. I’ve gotta’ make sure i show up fully sharpened. Before going, i could use some clarity on this question:

What do i want to take away from the experience?

  • A shout out to Sensophy on his twitter page? Gary’s got over 800,000 followers which equates to 800,000 potentially inspired people.
  • Some additional time with him in his work environment? I’d love to see him in action and soak up some of Gary’s genius.
  • How about a video with him while the Jets score the winning touchdown? Me and him could rock out with end-zone dances together on camera.

I love each of those ideas but i had a fundamental realization: I’m asking the wrong question!

Instead of “What do i want to take away from the experience?”, I changed my mindset to “What value can i bring to this experience?”

Let the philosophizing begin!

This is when i started to play with the idea of what “value” really is. What is valuable to me? What is of value to you? How can i create value in someones life; especially a guy like Gary who already has so much value?

Instead of only asking myself this question, i decided i would write an email to some of my favorite online authorities. They may not have 800,000 followers on twitter but they’re all definitely doing their thing. I asked them all the same one question:

“What is the most *valuable* thing any single customer/client/fan of your work has ever done for you?”

The responses are in…

Out of the 7 people that i asked, i got these 4 replies:

I’m starting to get the picture here. I think if the right timing presents itself, i can chat with Gary about how his philosophy set me on my path toward serving people through my passion.

Besides a couple super cool surprise goodies, i believe that the real value i’ll be bringing to the interaction with him is simply, myself. Showing up fully authentic and playfully engaging while being present with good energy – that’s valuable!

Here’s how you can use this…

This is not some failsafe formula to get rich real quick. Rather, these are timeless truths that i come back to in the midst of my days again and again. When you’re looking to get something solved:

  1. Notice the problem you’re having and the question that you’re already asking yourself about it.
  2. See how you can improve the question. That may include looking at it from another person’s perspective, or even asking yourself “What do i want the outcome to be?” Then you could follow up with “What is the best possible move i can make toward achieving that outcome?”
  3. Ask that revised question to the best of the best in that field. Email, Twitter, and Facebook all make people sooooo accessible. Reach out to an authority on your topic with a short, simple, straight to the point question. I even titled my subject “Lighting Quick Question” (i misspelled “Lightning” and they still got back to me!)

Rock out with this method and i’m sure you can improve your performance in any area of your life that you’d like. I’ll leave you with a gem Tony Robbins once dropped on me: “Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”

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