I recently engaged in an interesting experience of trying to figure out what i wanted the outcome of something to be. There were two pivital points in the process of perusing a solution to my situation. The “Oprah aha! moment” was asking myself the following two questions:
- Am i asking the right question?
- Am i asking the right person?
Here’s how it went down:
As you might imagine, i’ve been busy brainstorming big-boy optimal outcomes to the Jets game i’m going to with Gary Vaynerchuk, this Sunday!! Firstly, the Jets winning would set the stage. But secondly, what will i make of this opportunity as a whole?
Getting to spend some time with a guru genius like Gary is a rare and revered opportunity. I’ve gotta’ make sure i show up fully sharpened. Before going, i could use some clarity on this question:
What do i want to take away from the experience?
- A shout out to Sensophy on his twitter page? Gary’s got over 800,000 followers which equates to 800,000 potentially inspired people.
- Some additional time with him in his work environment? I’d love to see him in action and soak up some of Gary’s genius.
- How about a video with him while the Jets score the winning touchdown? Me and him could rock out with end-zone dances together on camera.
I love each of those ideas but i had a fundamental realization: I’m asking the wrong question!
Instead of “What do i want to take away from the experience?”, I changed my mindset to “What value can i bring to this experience?”
Let the philosophizing begin!
This is when i started to play with the idea of what “value” really is. What is valuable to me? What is of value to you? How can i create value in someones life; especially a guy like Gary who already has so much value?
Instead of only asking myself this question, i decided i would write an email to some of my favorite online authorities. They may not have 800,000 followers on twitter but they’re all definitely doing their thing. I asked them all the same one question:
“What is the most *valuable* thing any single customer/client/fan of your work has ever done for you?”
The responses are in…
Out of the 7 people that i asked, i got these 4 replies:
- Chris Brogan: Took an idea I’ve given them to start and ran with it.
- Brian Johnson: Changed their life!
- David Risley: Bought my stuff. And spread the word.
- Mike Stelzner: Compliments are always nice.
I’m starting to get the picture here. I think if the right timing presents itself, i can chat with Gary about how his philosophy set me on my path toward serving people through my passion.
Besides a couple super cool surprise goodies, i believe that the real value i’ll be bringing to the interaction with him is simply, myself. Showing up fully authentic and playfully engaging while being present with good energy – that’s valuable!
Here’s how you can use this…
This is not some failsafe formula to get rich real quick. Rather, these are timeless truths that i come back to in the midst of my days again and again. When you’re looking to get something solved:
- Notice the problem you’re having and the question that you’re already asking yourself about it.
- See how you can improve the question. That may include looking at it from another person’s perspective, or even asking yourself “What do i want the outcome to be?” Then you could follow up with “What is the best possible move i can make toward achieving that outcome?”
- Ask that revised question to the best of the best in that field. Email, Twitter, and Facebook all make people sooooo accessible. Reach out to an authority on your topic with a short, simple, straight to the point question. I even titled my subject “Lighting Quick Question” (i misspelled “Lightning” and they still got back to me!)
Rock out with this method and i’m sure you can improve your performance in any area of your life that you’d like. I’ll leave you with a gem Tony Robbins once dropped on me: “Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
23 Comments
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Grasping/embracing/embodying the concept of what can I GIVE, instead of what can I GET, is a game changer. How would the world be different if we ALL lived like that? I’m gettin’ teary over here thinking of what you are doing/will do with your life, what I’m doing/will do with mine, and how the threads of people’s lives criss and cross and weave a beautiful tapestry. Thanks for the inspiration 🙂
That's beautiful E. You exemplify the concept of giving your greatest gifts to the world with your generosity through creative thought (amongst other things.) Keep keeping on, rocking steady with what you've been blessing us with sis!
Yet another goodie.=) … I feel like we were having a similar conversation on the train about asking yourself a question then revising it to be more specific(improve the question) …so this was a nice reminder/ refresh.
Also there is a typo in the word believe ….. "i beleive that the real value"… But i knew you meant to do that !
<3 Tasha
Ahhhh yes yes yes… Just making sure you're still on your toes. Now that i know, i'll adjust accordingly.
Glad you got something outta' that train ride beside my reenactment of youtube speeches and cheap shots at your special sections.
I felt a huge sigh of relief when you came to the realization of it's NOT what can I get….but what can I give.
I Just finished watching Depach Chopra speaking about the 7 Spiritual Laws of Success: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Evo-K_8tCU0&fe…
DC talks exactly about this and explains, when you release the thought of what can I get….. you will "spontaneously receive all that you desire" …..so there you go!! Hey, YOU are the gift to Gary! What a fun and unexpected event for him….a day with Jacob S!
love and light!
Hahaha- thanks Kathy! DC is DM (Da' Man.) I loved the 7 Spiritual Laws Of Success book.
Thanks for sharing the video too… The concept of "letting go to get" is very paradoxical by nature, just like life. Gotta' love it!!
WOW!!! What an awesome post Jacob! I absolutely love the theme of reversing the question from "What do I want to take from this experience" to "What value do I want to bring to this experience"? Great job man. Thanks for sharing yourself and insight. Xo, Mel
Thanks Melly Mel my blogging buddy -=)… Glad you were a part of that process.
Fantastic post Jacob…truly thought-provoking! It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking about what we can get rather than what we can give. I have to be very conscious of this every day in my business to ensure that I'm focused on the value I'm giving to my clients rather than the value of the invoice I get from them (although that's always nice too!!).
I was especially happy to read that your focus is going to be on simply 'showing up' fully as yourself rather than trying to get or give anything else. I'm sure Gary will be delighted to be hanging out with a like-minded cool, passionate and life-loving guy……..I hope you have an awesome time!
Loads of love
xx
Jayne! Haha, same here sister, same here. Still have to be very conscious of why i'm doing what i' doing and what my expectations are in relation to it.
Thanks for dropping in and popping up! Appreciate your energy and commitment to awesomeness.
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