You Ain’t Crazy. You’re Just Afraid of Change.

Don’t you just love it when one of your favourite rappers appears to give you some personalised words of wisdom?

“You ain’t crazy; you’re just afraid of change.” – J. Cole

I stand right now on the cusp of a cross-country move and a complete life overhaul. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that “overwhelmed” would be a fitting word to describe my current state of being. It’s as if I’ve been floating somewhere outside of myself for the past few weeks, watching all the arrangements being made and the plans being formed, but not being totally present for any of it. I’ve been swept up in the craziness and my life hasn’t felt like my own for a while.

So when Jacob inadvertently nudged me in the direction of that J. Cole lyric, it felt like it had been tailor-made just for me to hear.

I thought this relocation was exactly what I’d been wanting. The buzz of the big city, the bumped-up social life, the fulfilment that’s been missing from my current day-to-day. A move to the capital would surely tick all the boxes. And from where I’m sitting right now in my friend’s London flat, fresh from yet another house-viewing and all interviewed out, it looks like the big move might just do everything I’ve been hoping it will.

So why do I feel so removed from the whole thing? Why is there a part of me that’s treating it as one big adventure that’ll be over soon? As a matter of fact, why is there a teensy bit of me that may even, dare I say it, be hoping for exactly that…?

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Guess what? Change is scary.

It’s easy to get attached to our current reality, no matter how grim it might seem from the inside. Our nose might be to the grindstone, but at least the grindstone’s familiar. We might complain about the drudgery, but as soon as it’s dusted away like a smudge or a stain, we wonder what we’ll do with ourselves without it. The shininess of the new can illuminate all too clearly the places that need our attention…

And that’s where I’m at.

The thought of a new adventure is making my heart smile and putting a spring in my step. But it also makes me breathe a little faster and open my eyes a little wider. It’s suddenly hit me that, just a couple of weeks from now, my life will look infinitely different. It’s definitely crazy-making stuff. But like J. Cole said, that’s OK. Change happens. We all get scared. But we roll with it.

“The important thing is to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.” – Charles Dubois

Without the prospect of change, we won’t evolve. Without shedding who we once were, we can never become who we might be. The old may be familiar, but without letting it go, we can’t see what else is on the horizon.

But what about the now? The foggy transitional period that is *right now*?

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There are a couple of things that I think, when they’re kept constant, are *key* to maintaining balance when everything around us is upside down.

1. Keep rocking your fundamentals.

We recently told you about a simple tool you can use all the time to limit those high highs and low lows and keep life ticking over. The “When Life Works” list is all about keeping track of the things that make us feel good on a consistent basis so we can easily rock them when the going gets tough. I’ve needed some gentle reminders to keep doing my thing (*ahem* thanks, Jacob), but staying on track with my fundamentals, particularly nutrition and exercise, has definitely helped keep my feet on the ground.

2. Open up.

I’m talking communication. I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to soldier on, even when I’m cracking under the pressure. I’m not keen on owning up when I’m finding things hard, preferring instead to pretend everything’s still cool. But funnily enough, the people in our lives are there for a reason. They’re there to help out when it all hits the fan. They’re there for hugs and hand-holding, for support and straight-talking. Let them in.

3. Take responsibility.

There’s a saying: Everything that’s on your plate got there ’cause you said yes to it. (Thank you, Danielle LaPorte.) Even when life’s hectic, we still likely have commitments and to-dos that need to be honoured. If we can’t accommodate them anymore, it might be time to make our apologies and bow out of the situation. Otherwise, we need to step up and take ownership of what we’ve got going on.

4. Keep your eye on the prize.

When change gets scary, it can be all too easy to run in the other direction. That way apparent safety lies. The bright lights might be enticing, but the life I’ve been leading for the past few years is familiar, and there’s something comfortable about that… But the long-term vision is what it’s all about. *Why* are we doing what we’re doing? Where do we wanna be? What’s the goal? Every step forward is a step closer to our vision. We just gotta keep that vision front and centre.

5. Embrace the suck.

Sometimes, things are gonna be hard. We’re gonna come up against obstacles, opposition and a mega-ton of resistance. But that’s OK. Our culture might have become accustomed to the idea that there’s no hard work in accomplishment, but it’s not supposed to be easy. Which is lucky, ’cause we can’t avoid pain. But we *can* choose how we respond to it when it pops up. When we face inevitable resistance, we can give in, or we can roll with it and learn to enjoy the ride.

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So it looks like I’m heading to LDN. I won’t pretend my stomach’s not still doing somersaults, but really, this is a change I *want* to make. And if we don’t have a dream, how we gonna have a dream come true?

Over to you!

What do *you* do to keep your head above water when life gets crazy? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below :o)

(Photos Rebecca’s own :o) )

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