This blog-post almost didn’t exist. True story. But since it does, I almost wrote it about taking the day off. I was gonna floss the fact that I’ve created a lifestyle where I can embrace my autonomy and do what I want, when I want. I was gonna say how today I’m taking a day to chill and do me.
The truth is that’s bullshit. I don’t take days off, not even weekends, and not holidays either.
But the line between work and play is so blurred for me that I can barely tell the difference between a day off and a day on. Spending a month in Hawaii – wait, is that work or play? I treat the nourishing of my soul and the strengthening of my consciousness as two of the greatest assets I have in my business. Without honoring myself, I couldn’t honor you. Without enjoying my life, it’d be hard to help you enjoy yours. Without loving myself, yeah – you get it.
So I’ve strategically built the blur between play and work into the foundation of my business. My best daily *business* practices include mediation, exercise, nutrition, reading, exploration, engaging in social relationships (including with random Sensophizers like you), etc…
But I almost never take days off.
Consequently, it’s Sunday night at 8:37pm right now and I’m on the R train heading home from Manhattan typing this blog on my iPhone in Evernote.
Why? Because I have a commitment to putting out posts on Mondays. And my Monday is so packed tomorrow (with work/play) that even if I decided to wait til Tuesday to publish a post, I’d have no time tomorrow to creatively engage in my romantic love affair with words and wise perspectives.
A relocation has occurred as I write this: Now I’m in the corner bodega around the block from my crib, about to buy that ice-cream before I polish up this post and call it a night.
It’s not that I waited until the last minute to create something to publish today. Rather, it’s the contrary – I was stoked. I had a big topic to tackle over the last week and instead it tackled me.
This is my 2nd time attempting to creatively construct my observations on the intertwining of Hip-Hop, class, and masculinity into a piece that I’m proud of. The blog is just not ready yet and I’ve got nothing to show for it.
So instead of “calling out sick” and taking the day off, I decided to make this post about showing up authentically. I’ve wrote about it over and over, sharing über-personal stories about how getting my heart broken two hours before one of the biggest meetings of my life – and showing up anyway – led to unforeseeable opportunities. Showing up authentically, when you’d rather not.
There’s no shame in my game. It was there for the first two decades of my life as I covered up all the things I was terrified of being exposed (including but definitely not limited to my fear of being gay, my fear of not being smart enough, my fear of being too weak, and my fear that if you knew about the drug-infested household I spent the first 5 years of my life in, well, that you’d abandon me too).
In a way that only the universe could finagle, I’ve dove so deeply into all those topics that they’ve come to be strong suits for me (hello ladies, let’s philosophize, adventure is my job).
Showing up. Authentically. I’m here. Happy to talk honestly about where I am and what I’m feeling. Showing up. Authentically. Ready to have that heart dropping butterfly eliciting conversation with you which you still may have traces of shame about. Showing up. Authentically. No judgments and no expectations. Just connection, and a soulful space held lightly for you to find the beauty in showing up authentically too.
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Hi Jacob, how are you?
My name's Chris and I'm brazilian. I found your blog through a friend who read one of your texts and sent it to me.
I confess…I'm addicted to your texts! I've been reading them since Saturday, one after the other and watching the videos. They are all very inspiring. It's definitely not so easy to find our path, at least for some people (me, for instance) and getting to know your story and what you write sure gave me a lot to think about. So, I just wanted to say Thanks and know that you have people who admire you all over the world.
Cheers!
Dude!
So thrilled that Sensophy speaks to you all the way down in Brazil!
Thanx for dropping a comment with feedback – let me know how I can support you on your journey!
Keep in touch, Christiano!
Wow, You just put it out there! Beautifully said.
o4sho!
Thank you. 🙂
YEAH, BUDDY!! You know I loves me some authenticity. Thanks for this. Makes me feel better about the times when I feel the need to pull a post together last minute…coincidentally, it's usually because I'm trying to perfect another one. Like right now, for example. 🙂 TTYTh!
LOL. That's not what I heard, B.
It's my understanding that you're a blogging ninja who can compose in-depth posts in a matter of minutes.
Looking fwd to our chat! 🙂
Love this. No shame. I could do to take a leaf out of your book. I just checked out the authenticity post you linked to, and this is an excerpt from my comment, 17 weeks ago:
"My number one challenge when it comes to being authentic is definitely the fear of being judged. My whole life, I've cared too much about what other people think. I've made decisions that I think other people wanted me to make, and I've nodded along with things I don't agree with simply to avoid confrontation. I've always wanted to be liked and accepted by others, so I've found it difficult to be open about my views, particularly if they're unconventional. But I keep telling myself that it really doesn't matter if other people judge me. That's their business, not mine. While I'm caring so much about other people's opinions, I'm denying myself the chance to live the fullest, most awesome life I possibly can."
17 weeks later and I'm still saying the same stuff! I know these things take time, but I'm so ready to rid myself of that shame once and for all, and just make stuff happen already.
Thanks for the inspiration. Always.
Long. Term. Vision.
I'm proud of you for "doing the work."
It takes time, stay with it – baby steps add up!
Much love!
What I have come to understand…in my own journey, is when we are NOT authentic, when we try to fit the image or desire of someone else, and things fail, we spend too much wasted time wondering "what if". What if I had done this instead, what if I had acted this way, what if I ….____It's in being true to yourself that gives you freedom from those what ifs'. We no longer have to wonder if we could have been more or done more…we have peace that we were all we can be and can learn to accept that things don't always work out, not because you did something wrong, but because it was just not meant to be.____I go through waves of true unabandoned authenticity…and pulling back for fear that it may be too much. Truth is, I'm good with me. I'm good with where I came from and the events and connections that have made me who I am. Some good, some bad, but all mine.____As always…you are an inspiration and just the encouragement that I need to remember that I am not alone in this journey of Self!__xo
Yes!
I'm good with you too, Dawn. 🙂
Thanx for sharing yourself, as yourself. Sending you a big hug!
Showing Up! So impotant! That's the reason why I'm writing you at 7:50 in the morning (Barcelona) while I show up at my morning routines. It feels so good to show up, specially with the stuff you previously schedulled as aligned with your values! 🙂
Sergi
Yayayayayayayuh!!
So thrilled we got to work/play together Sergi and I love the diligent commitment you bring to rocking your fundamentals!
Here's to showing up!!
Jacob this is beautiful man.
Your words just roll of the paper.
Authenticity is where all our answers lie. If I am honest with who I am, what I want, what I value, and so on – then it is possible for me to identify what I can give back to the world. It's at the heart of everything.
Really powerful man.
Right on bro! Thanx for all your support and love. Excited to link up in the future! 🙂
Love how you just start typing up whenever and whereever….keeping real J!
Thank you for your posts.
LOL. Noooooooooooooo doubt! 🙂
Thanx for being part of the journey! 🙂