“I just wanna make a bigger impact, Jacob”
That’s what my client said to me as we started our coaching session.
And it’s no surprise, this guy is a rockstar.
He owns a great business.
He’s madly in love.
He travels freely.
He wakes up excited.
He has tons of time in his schedule.
Impressive.
But that’s not enough.
“Rockstar” also happens to have a heart of gold, and he came to our session driven to give back!
So how do you coach a guy who’s already a rockstar?
What do you say to someone who’s already killing it but hungry to keep growing?
Well, I don’t say much.
In fact, I just kinda listen.
You can see here that I didn’t really start talking until 38 minutes in.
But there’s a big difference between “listening” and REALLY “listening”.
As a coach, one of my secret powers is listening to what’s being said *underneath* what’s being said.
And by listening to what’s happening underneath what’s happening, you’re able to create results that most people only dream of.
On the surface, it makes no sense. But on a deeper level, it makes all the difference.
This is called using your intuition.
(Remember the wise Master Splinter from The Ninja Turtles? This was his shit!!!)
Back to “Rockstar”…
As he was talking, my intuition was telling me that the impact he really wanted to make was to have a child.
Although he mentioned nothing about children on this session, I’ve been coaching him for a while, and he’d briefly brought up the topic of having a kid a few months earlier. So I asked about it. And he LIT UP with energy.
We dove into his fears around it… identified clear action steps he could take…
And then I said something to him that made him say: “WOW. WOW. WOW.”
Wanna know what I said? THIS…
—
Okay.
Let’s play a game called:
“I’m Never Allowed To Give My Kid Advice, Ever”
(continued…)
“But, The Way That I Get To Teach My Kid Is By *Exemplifying* Every Important Lesson That I’d Want To Teach Them.”
(A long name for a game, I know.)
So…
How do you then exemplify all of the wisdom that you’d wanna pass on to your child?
How do you become the living embodiment of everything you’d wanna teach them?
—
Rockstar needed to stand up. He had so much energy and excitement flowing through him that he needed to move his body.
“WOW. WOW. WOW.”
In that moment, I sent Rockstar out on a mission. And in many ways, this new mission was his path to greater impact.
Firstly, to his child.
But secondly, to the world at large.
Because usually, how you do anything is how you do everything. So I coached him on the “micro” level (his day to day), because that’s what impacts the “macro” level, (his larger vision).
And as he deepens his embodiment of the wisdom that matters most to him, opportunities will present themselves that reflect his new, deeper, more inspiring state of being!
He will be the change he wants to see.
Are you inspired to go out on a mission to make a greater impact in the world?
If so, here are the next steps:
Step #1. Identify the top 3 to 5 life lessons you’d wanna pass along to your (future) kid or student. Lessons that if they knew, they’d be destined for a great life.
Step #2. Identify some ways in which you could live more of that wisdom, right now.
Step #3 (Bonus). Post one of those key lessons in the comments below. You can see one of mine there!
Cowabunga!
Jacob
—
PS: I recently made a bold decision to scale back my business for the next 2-3 months so I can focus primarily on my own growth, evolution, and larger long-term impact!
Since I won’t be launching any new programs while I’m on this quest, I’ve decided to open up a few spaces in my private 1-on-1 coaching practice for people who are also committed to their growth, evolution, and larger long-term impact.
If you’re serious about your growth and inspired to go on a powerful journey with me, you can apply to be one of the people I coach here.
The future is bright, homey.
Let that light shine, yo!
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Man. There’s SO many game-changing lesson’s I’m tempted to share with my “future child”.
– Follow your heart, but bring your head
– Karma
– The ladder of consciousness
I could fill entire libraries by writing about each of these jewels. And so many more gems that have enabled me to consciously create an amazing experience of life.
But for the sake of today’s share, I’m going uber practical.
Because it’s easy to get seduced by the sexy, flashy, fancy personal development. But no foundation = no longevity. We keeping it classic here!
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So, for the first piece of wisdom I’d absolutely 100% wanna pass forward, I’m playing the Victor Frankl card.
FRANKLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL – whazzzzzzzzzzzzzahppp!!!
The basic idea:
Everything can be taken away from you in life except for 1 thing.
That thing?
How you choose to respond to the situation!!
Frankl was a 20th century legendary psychologist who got swept into German concentration camps during the holocaust. He experienced the absolute worst of humanity.
Mass killings. Torture. Inhumanity.
Shit. But while being an innocent prisoner, he realized where TRUE freedom exists.
It’s not in a paycheck, security blanket, or location-indepentent lifestyle.
Frankl said TRUE FREEDOM lives in between STIMULUS and RESPONSE.
Stimulus examples: You just miss the train. Someone spills coffee on you. Your boss is a dick. The IRS audits you. You lose your job. The economy tanks. You get innocently thrown in jail. Tortured. And sentenced to a gruesome death.
Thankfully, most of us will never have to experience the more extreme “stimuluses” above. But even in those cases…
Frankl explains, NO MATTER WHAT, you can *ALWAYS* choose how an empowered respond. Even if you’re literally tied down and held hostage, you can still choose an empowering story about what’s happening.
The gift in this wisdom is it eliminates helplessness and can keep us out of victimhood. Which is GREAT news because you are 10x more powerful when you’re not clinging to some story about how X, Y, Z, person, circumstance, or situation wronged you / isn’t fair.
(Keep in mind this isn’t always easy but it’s a muscle you build and it eventually can become pretty automatic to choose an empowered response!)
Now, how do we actively build the space between STIMULUS and RESPONSE – the place where true freedom lives?
Mediation.
Mindfulness.
Anything that rewires your nervous system and calms down you amygdala.
But I’ll save the brief scientific conversation for another time!
Just remember:
You are the creator of your own experience.
ALWAYS.
Master that. And you’ve laid the foundation for a masterful, happy, and free life!
And I wish you all of that plus a bag of puppies!
PS: Grab a copy of Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search For Meaning. I especially love the 2nd section.
I love this! This was a REALLY helpful exercise for figuring out what is most important to me deep down. The first three I thought of (I know you said post one, but three popped out 🙂 are:
1. The world doesn’t owe you anything. Ditch the word “should”, and take responsibility for your own life.
2. You don’t need to do what everyone else is doing – everyone is on their own journey.
3. Happiness 24/7 is not the goal – fulfillment and being true to yourself are the goals. It’s okay to not be happy 24/7.
Phew. Now it’s just seeing if I embody those in my day to day life!
YESSSSSS.
#1. Love it.
#2. Most def!!
#3. 4sho!!!
It’s no surprise to me that you read Sensophy! I would absolutely wanna get all of those pieces of wisdom across too!!
#EmbodyingTime!
Step #1. Identify the top 3 to 5 life lessons you’d wanna pass along to your (future) kid or student. Lessons that if they knew, they’d be destined for a great life.
1. Breath: Slow Down and Connect with Your Breath/Heart/Head
2. Experiment: Fail, Learn, Kaizen, See Failure as Opportunity to Grow. Go back to #1 and Kaizen
3. Energy: From experiments slowly down to discover out what excites you! See if you can group/link them together. Is there a pattern of excitement. Does it reveal your core values. What deep down excites you? Repeat #1,2 and 3!
Step #2. Identify some ways in which you could live more of that wisdom, right now.
In my writing/sex/travel/sales/coaching/parenting–express my core values through my body/actions, use breath and meditation during all these activities. Instead of words LIVE THE WISDOM!!
Step #3 (Bonus). Post one of those key lessons in the comments below. You can see one of mine there!
Love you Jacob for how you show up in the world.. I am so blessed to have you in my life brother. I always wanted a brother like you who helps me to be TRUE to myself and REALLY LIVE MY LIFE FULLY FREELY FUNNY-LY!!!
Looking forward to PLAYING as a DA DAD!!!! haha 🙂