Happiness and science. Did you know that the two are in a relationship? Up until recently it’s been on the hush-hush, you know, the low-key down-low. But it’s time we talk openly about it.
They’re an all star team together – think Jordan and Pippen with 6 rings in the 90s. Foul line dunks and Phil Jackson coaching.
Something amazing has been happening in the last 10 years. Its called the positive psychology movement. People who are leading it, like Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, are saying that instead of using psychology to simply treat mental illness, let’s us it to make normal life more fulfilling.
How’s this for a slow passionate steamy mind-screw? In the 20th century, from 1900-2000, for every 100 articles published on the negative side of psychology (illnesses like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression, etc…) there was approximately one article published on the positive side (things like gratitude, exercise, optimism, etc…) Pretty twisted.
6 Successful Virtues
What’s fascinating is scientists’ recent findings. Dudes are discovering what ancient philosophers have been declaring for centuries. Consistently living a life of integrity and virtue brings lasting happiness. These are the six virtues that seem to show up in the most successful of people:
- Wisdom / Knowledge
- Courage / Bravery
- Love / Humanity
- Justice / Fairness
- Temperance / Self-Control
- Spirituality / Appreciation
12 Happiness Habits
Philosophizing is fun, but Sensophizing is sexier. Instead of just loving this information, lets feel the effects of it. That’s the essence of Sensophy. So…
Here’s how we’re gonna’ roll out. For a second, forget all of the lab coats and mad scientist hair-dues… let’s focus on action. Positive Psychologist and author Sonja Lyubomirsky, wrote a bangin’ book called The How Of Happiness. In it, she identifies 12 happiness activities that are scientifically proven to make us happier. They are as follows:
- Expressing gratitude
- Cultivating optimism
- Avoiding over-thinking and social comparison
- Practicing acts of kindness
- Nurturing social relationships
- Developing strategies for coping
- Learning to forgive
- Increasing flow experiences
- Savoring life’s joys
- Committing to your goals
- Practicing religion and spirituality
- Taking care of your body
Let me take this puppy for another walk around the block because it’s THAT important you get something outta’ it. (Get it?) Performing the above is scientifically proven to make you happier. Scientifically proven!
I’ve known about this list for almost a year, so, has it made me happier? Hell yeah! But here’s the pooper scooper: knowing about it alone won’t do a damn thing for you. You’ve gotta’ actually create rituals in your life around this knowledge and make them non-negotiable. It’s as essential to daily life as eating, showering, and breathing.
Pick Your Favorite
Here’s something really cool that Sonja says: pick your favorite item on the list and just focus on that. Not the one that you think you should do, but instead, the one that you want to do!
I recently started spending 5 minutes first thing in the morning and 5 minutes last thing at night consciously expressing appreciation. That’s right. I sit down with my little pad and just write things that i’m grateful for. This morning it was:
- my excitement
- my apartment
- my knowledge of self
- my focus
- my ability to make my dreams come true
- my past
- my style
- wisdom and virtue
- philosophy
- spirituality
- etc…
I’ve been doing this for about two weeks and i noticed something noteworthy. In the middle of my day, at random moments, my mind just starts saying thank you. It just pops up outta’ nowhere and all of a sudden i’m appreciating the moment and all of the things in it. That is big time bad ass!
My Challenge To You
Pick one thing. Just one. Only one. And commit to consciously and deliberately practicing it for 3 weeks. Side note: research shows it takes 21 days to develop a habit. Spend a minimum of 10 minutes a day focusing on it. At the end of the 3 weeks, see if you feel like practicing that habit has increased your happiness.
If you choose to participate, I would love for you to leave a comment below and share what you picked. I’ll hold you accountable!
124 Comments
Comments are closed.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Selah. Selah said: RT @jacobsokol: 12 Scientifically Proven Steps Toward Everyday Happiness: http://t.co/BhyCRTV […]
I gotta pick one?! I think the one I need to focus on right now is probably #9 – savouring life's joys… It's all too easy to get distracted (for me, the #1 distraction is work because it's something I'm passionate about), and I have to remind myself to step back and enjoy all the other wonderful things in my life. It doesn't sound like much but it's a huge thing for me – to be able to stop doing and just enjoying "being" for a little while is pretty awesome 🙂
p.s. "Philosophizing is fun but Sensophizing is sexier" should be the new site slogan! That line deserves a t-shirt.
Hahaha… "that line deserves a t-shirt" – i'll let you know when they're ready for sale Laura. Thanx for the feedback. And you're right, "being" DOES sounds pretty awesome -=). Chat soon!
Dude I picked up this book on audio at a cracker barrel while driving across the country – looking back the only element that really stuck with me was expressing gratitude. I think it's time I start working on number 3…
Yeah bro. Avoiding over-thinking and social comparison – it's huge a huge one! Any idea on how you plan to do that?
Hi Jacob,
Hmm.. well.. it's funny (and good) that I stumbled upon your blog post – because today I started doing things that were in my new years resolutions list. Basically, I want to do three things EVERYDAY.
1. Writing (number 10 on your list)
2. Exercise (number 12)
3. Connecting with people (number 4)
Loved the list of 12 things and think it's pretty simple yet exhaustive!
haha.. Nice! Glad you got something outta' the post and i see that you've already been doing some writing. Good stuff.
Which one of those three is most important to you?
Hey there Jacob,
great post – Came to me at just the right time. Things a little negatively challanging in life at present on 3 major fronts 1. Relationship. 2. Home environment. 3. Work. so the one most shouting out to me from the list of happiness activities is number 2. 'Cultivating optimism'. Through all that comes my way in life, the positive & negative I want to build optimism I experience in response – so number 2 it is.
Once before you said to me in a different discussion that I could be 'accountable' to you, anyways at that time I didn't respond back, I didn't really understand that. SOOOOO this time instead of my side stepping & ignoring it/you due to my lack of knowledge & the fear I have over that lacking I'm deciding to ask you about what the 'accountable to another' really means.
I appreciate having the second opportunity of you're offering this out to me & appreciating in advance any info/explanation/advice you can share with me.
Bless you Jacob & All good things to you. x
Hey Lynne! -=) Holding you "accountable" in this sense would just mean checking in with you and making sure you're rocking what you committed to. Sometimes when we know a person will check to see if we did what we said we would, if gives us a push to complete it that we wouldn't normally have.
So for instance, how do you plan to consciously "cultivate optimism?" Each day you could spend 10 minutes writing what your ideal day, week, month, year, etc would look like. In a coaching program, the coach would check in everyday to see that you completed it. That's not what were doing here, but in 21 days, i could see how if you've done it and how it's gone.
Hey there Jacob,
thanks so much for you reply. OK I'm getting a bit more now. So for instance in my journal for each day since working on this (day 3 now – woop woop) I've written such things as 'work gives satisfaction now & prepares the way forward to an optimal future through an optimal present' & 'for every negative find the positive learning curve' & I've written actual things such as drinking camomile tea at bedtime to aid optimal sleep/2 litres of water each day for flushing my system & maintaining hydration' – are these on the right line. I know it's about what works for me but just checking out are these 'cultivating optimism' in the 'correct sense' or is it more about my vision for my day ahead/tomorrow/my future. Or I guess does it cover all these. Oh long question – sorry, just want to work on this so much & want to start off right. Thanks for your support AND for allowing my being accountable to you, I get that a bit more too now also. x
Hey Lynne… Feel free to use your journal however feels natural to you – theres no "right" way. I often use it to list things i'm grateful for… pretty simple and straight fwd. Hope that gives you some clarity.
Couldn't agree more Jmoney!
The biggest one for me was this: Avoiding over-thinking and social comparison. I would always compare myself to others… their happiness, their career, their success, the money they make, etc. it's really a waste of your time and energy. Focus on what makes you you and be you to the best of your ability.
If anyone is unsure of how to do this- just keep reading my boy Jacob here for an example. This guy is the true deal-e-o!
Eric OUT!
No diggity no dizzzoubt!! Agree with you completely 14 inch pythons. Thanx for the kind words homeslice.
Hey Jacob,
You are on point again & with perfect timing!
It seems that I may be a 1/4 step ahead of you! I have actually been making a conscious effort on two of the items listed above. I have been doing this since January 1 and I have noticed a difference in my overall attitude. My main focus has been on #9 & #11. I know you said choose one but for me these two go hand & hand.
haha.. thanx Lisa!! -=) Thrilled to hear that you've been applying this stuff and that you're feeling the effects too. Yay yay yayuh! Keep rock homegirl!!
it just have to be number 8 for me– got to accept the flow, be one with it, embrace it, every moment minute of it whatever it is. thanks much jacob you're really doing amazing stuff by just being sincerely you. heard your interview stuff the other day and really liked it esp the end part. more power to you man!! xoxo
Shila! Appreciate the kind words – thank you! Big smiles and i really appreciate the feedback on the interview too – i was all pumped up for it! Chat soon! -=)
Hahaha… play on playa!
So, committing to your goals… What are they?
My goal is to make a good living from writing/painting/photography……….i get bored easily so all 3 will keep it interesting!!
Dopeness… how are you gonna' go about doing that, and in what new way in 2011?
your reply isn't showing up on here but i will reply anyway!!
I'm not sure yet! i am going to try and figure that out within the next couple of days……i'll let ya know!!
You have a way of making magic reveal itself. 4sho, please do Gemma -=)
aah! i like that! 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU8Yesm6sAc
haha! great song! i do love a good latin beat!!
Try meditating to it…
ha! i'll do that!!
You are bad-ass!
i am, its true! it's just how i roll………….!
As someone who suffered from Major Depression a while back, I choose cultivating optimism. There really is a silver lining to everything if we just open our eyes and mind to it.
Nice insights Marnie! Thanx for sharing. I find cultivating optimism to be a ridiculously powerful practice too. Chat soon -=)
Oh Marnie,
This is my choice also, I haven't really understood the full meaning of it, though Jacob (our main man) has really helped me with with a cool response & explanation. Just wanted to say that your words on 'The Silver Lining' has also clarified 'Cultivating Optimism' for me too. Bless you for your post. I support & wish you well on your journey. All good things to you. x
Jakob
Absolutely fantastic article, buddy. Really inspiring.
I must say, it takes a lot for me nowadays to seriously read through ANYONE's entire post. But, you did it..!!
Enthusiasm and Passion, for me, are the things that get me going in the morning, and keep me going throughout the day – well, those, plus the cool 'play time breaks' I manage to have DAILY with my 2-year old.
Today we pretended to be frogs. Was great fun!
Keep up the great work, bud.
C
Haha… thanx Chris! I'm the same way about reading blogs… i question if it's immoral to be a blogger who doesn't ready blogs. My answer: naaaa.
Productive enthusiasm and passion will put a fire under our asses and shoot us to the starts. Your 2 year old sounds like a great gem. When you played frogs, let me guess… He was Kermit, and you were the Budweiser frog?!
Thanx for coming thru dude — chat soon!
Another awesome post! So first,Real Big Thanks 😀
And I feel so lucky that I've already been practising quite a few of the happiness activities( Thanks to OL101),like exercise,meditation,gratitude,practising kindness and so on…..and God knows what a blessing they've been!
But right now, the most important thing that I need to be focusing on is finding strategies for coping ( specially when I tend to slip down the roads of misery,my buttons being pushed by my near and dear ones )
.In fact this is an issue that I've been thinking of journalling on, for quite sometime,but procrastinating…guess now,I'll finally get up and do some serious thinking on it.( Thanks for the nudge 😉 )
Haha 4sho Gunja!! -=) It actually sounds like you're already practicing strategies for coping (exercise, meditation, gratitude, practicing kindness)… maybe the answer is not new ones, but more consistency on the current ones? In any instance, i'm sure you'll figure it out with time. Talk soon!
yeah, I hav been working hard to keep reminding myself and practicing my virtues and rituals…consistency,though a bit hard to keep up,is the most important part indeed!….so,really thanks for pointing that out.
and of course,looking forward to a lot of additional journalings too!
4sho Gunja. Consistency on the fundamentals. Yup Yup Yup. It does the trick every time!
Jacob,
I am going to practice more acts of kindness daily and I like the idea of writing down gratitudes for 5 minutes twice a day. I’ll do it.
Yayayayuh!! Lookin' fwd to finding out if you feel the effects.
Luv this! I kept a "Gratitude Journal" for all of 2010 (it was my New Year's resolution) and it was so fun to see all the cool stuff that I was grateful for – from paved roads to the shining sun to the random kindness of people. About three months into the year I added a separate tab on my journal where I would list "gifts" that I wanted to "send" other people too. If I saw someone that was having a bad day I would just send some good vibes there way immediately and also jot it down in my journal. I found it was a great way to keep myself in a positive place.
Holly http://www.rawkstarlivingfoods.com
Holly, that is AMAZING and i'm *really* diggin' the gifts idea. Keep that consciousness coming!! Lookin' fwd to linking some more rawkstar. -=)
Too Cool!! I've been practicing the Being Grateful every day now for over a year, every evening before I close my eyes. It has helped me fall a sleep in a positive frame of mind and therefore sleep much better!
And I just started reading Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, (been on my coffee table for about a year now).
And am working on Goals with the help of your nifty little workbook.
Keep it coming!!!
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!! Simple said: Love it!! -=)
Chat soon!!
I think that I will go for number 8, increasing flow experiences. I will do this in my work as an artist in my studio.
The flow for me starts there ….but I want to expand it outside the studio…allow it to just take over and direct me in my dealings with others, especially in my contacts that are outside of my comfort zone. I will do this by being very mindful and trying to stay connected with the now. Also I will journal everyday about how and when I notice it occurring and what I did or did not do to help it along. It is the state of heightened awareness that I LOVE!
Such coolness Kathy. Always get a kick and a smile outta' what you're up to. I found the "what i did / what i didn't do" reflection to be powerful process. Yum.
Good morning, Jacob!!!
I love this list…thanks – I got the book when Brian recommended it so highly and it's sitting right here with me – so I'll use this little boost to pull it out and put it front and center.
Meanwhile…I've been on the gratitude journal road for about a month now and love it – so i am going to pick #8 – increasing flow. That feels like the center of everything. I'll keep that going by getting out for a walk every morning to start with loving the world. ALWAYS makes me feel better and gets my creative juices going and helps EVERYTHING on the list.
Hey Scout!! Glad to hear the gratitude journaling is going good for you — i love the practice. And walking is one of my mom's fundamentals – she swears by it and even gets me out with her on occasion too! -=)
Interesting stuff. I'll have to look into that book, too. And, hey, any post that mentions Pippin is good in my book. Oh, darn, that was PippEn.
haha Alison – glad you dugg it – more on the way!! -=)
[…] 12 Scientically Proven Steps Towards Everyday Happiness […]
It is so true!!! I've been actually doing it for a few months now (due to some unfortunate events I experienced last year) and it really works!!! Everyday I find myself being thankful for little things in my life – ALL DAY : )
Happy to hear that you've been feeling the effects of putting these practices into consistent usage. Rock on homegirl!
Hey there Jacob,
Just wanted to check in to say on Day 11 of 'Cultivating Optimism' & enjoying & benefitting from Journalling on this each day.
As each each day comes it becomes 'easier' to get in the flow of thinking & Journalling Optimism, more able to visualise, write, imagine & believe is the positivity & goodness to come (& partially here already – awesome).
So thankyou Jacob to turning me onto this, Rockin' on & looking forward to Day12. All good things to you. x
Yayayayayyyyyyuh!!! Congratz! -=)
Talk about a pickle. How do I choose one. Overall I think avoiding over-thinking and social comparison is something that we as americans need to work on as a whole. Too often people jump to assumption or rapid conclusions that doesn't do anyone a bit of good. But on a more personal level I think I need to concentrate on my goals. I am constantly finding myself letting fear get in the way. And the worst part is it's the fear of success that does it to me every time.
For the next 3 weeks I will:
Commit to my goals and no longer be a penchant of my fear.
Great post as always-
Ahhhhhhhh!! Freshness bro. I dig it. How will you consciously create habits to remind you of your new commitment? Maybe a timeline or calendar reminders a couple times a day?
[…] Appropriately 50% of positive emotion comes from your genes and it seems there’s not a massive amount that can be done about that. For some tricks and tips on how to increase happiness in this arena, check out: 12 Scientifically Proven Steps Toward Everyday Happiness […]
"Philosophizing is fun but Sensophizing is sexier" …. hahahahahahaha… this makes me laugh! So agree it should go on a t-shirt. xxx
Hahaha -=) Will keep it in mind!
just fell into your blog again (I know I had read an article or two before) from following you on twitter. I love this post. I am crafting a post on my blog "in response" to it now. I am going to pick one habit to start now but also start thinking of ways and how to implement these other things as well… so that I know those goals as well… again thanks for the post, well done.
Ahhhh that is awesome Adrienne. You're ahead of the game as Tuesday I'm gonna' release a "12 Habits Of Happy People" report. Keep me posted on your progress!! -=)
[…] the magic scientific rules that lead to happiness according to Jacob Sokol […]
Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on this weblog loading? I’m trying to figure out if its a issue on my end or if it’s the weblog. Any responses would be greatly appreciated.
Jeremy Scott Longchamp Rose http://www.konepajahalli.fi/?pid=1394